Advice for my daughter.

Use your words wisely, dear one. You are the author and the main character of the greatest story ever told. 

No one but you and your Creator can write it. I’m so grateful you chose me to bring you Earthside, but I’m only here to observe. I’ll keep your paper and pens stocked, and your cups overflowing with good memories and inspiration. I’ll pop in from time to time to help when you feel stuck. (Here’s a hint: you’re never really stuck.) But the writing? That’s all on you. 

Every detail of your story, yes every single one, is entirely up to you. You’ll meet several people along your path who will add beauty and meaning to your days. Keep them close. Others may enter your story to confuse you, ignore you, leave, or cause you pain. That will never be your fault or your problem. Do your best to keep those chapters short, but always learn from them. 

On Healing and Helping

How you respond, how you heal, and how you write the chapters that follow your seasons of pain and frustration will always be your choice. Choose well. If you notice any troubling patterns with the personalities you keep hiring to grace your pages, seek out mentors who can help you cast better characters. 

You were blessed with gifts that come naturally. You were also blessed with gifts that require cultivation. Both sets of gifts have equal value. All of your gifts are worthy of your time, attention, and energy, but don’t feel obligated to use them all at once. I’m confident you’ll figure out the best way to use your gifts. Don’t become discouraged if this chapter takes you a few years to write. It may even take you more than a few. (Here’s a hint: When you use the gifts you were blessed with to bless others, your story will get really good.) 

On Worlds Colliding

Often, your story will collide with someone else’s. If this adds a twist or turn that you like, allow their story to change how things unfold in yours. If a new character makes you like your story any less, release them as soon as it’s safe to do so and allow them to return to their own story. Love looks like that sometimes. (Here’s a hint: this might be really difficult at first, but it will become easier with practice. Good things await you on the other side, so chin up.)

On Life in Edit Mode

Sometimes you’ll do things or say things or think things or believe things or become distracted by things that will make you fearful of how your story ends. Nothing is as bad or as good as you think, so try not to dwell on any one page too long. Expect to add, subtract, switch, and start over, again and again and again. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you’ll fall in love with the process of writing your story. If you find yourself stuck in a sad chapter for longer than you like, a change of scenery might do you some good. 

On Being Rooted 

Question your questions. Test your fears (within reason). The people, places, and things you encounter will shape your story for good or for interesting. Guard your pen. Guard your heart. Learn people before you love them, and keep learning them after you do. Love yourself always. Take care of yourself first. Root yourself in optimism and watch each chapter bloom. Water your desires. Dream in the sunshine. There is a solution to every problem. Yes, that one, too. 

On Trusting Her

You only get one life. One story. You are beautiful enough, smart enough, curious enough, talented enough, wealthy enough, supported enough, and protected enough to write a ridiculously amazing tale. You must respectfully (or disrespectfully) reject any belief or being that makes you feel unworthy. You must.  

Your intuition will tell you everything you need to know, but sometimes she whispers. Believe her. Respect her. Listen to her always. Whatever you write down will become real, so choose your words wisely and always dream a little bigger than logic allows. 

On Loving You

I do.

Featured image by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Candace Alike Smith is a Las Vegas-based content creator, womb warrior, and matcha enthusiast. Candace founded this site in 2015 to help women of color reclaim their vitality. Follow Candace’s content on holistic beautymental wellnessherbs and essential oilsnon-toxic productshealthy libationswellness travel, and self-reflection. Green is her happy color.

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